This year we replaced the fence in our backyard. It was installed when the house was built forty years ago. It’s had a long life and did a good job. But over the past few years, some of the panels came loose and gaps emerged. We could see into our neighbor’s yard and onto the nearby street. 

When I walked outside, it felt like we were unprotected from what lay beyond our borders. I wanted to repair it sooner, but like most things in life, it was expensive to do so.  So, for the past eighteen months, I’ve observed the holes each time I’ve walked outside. When a slat fell, I’d pick it up and try and put it back in place.

As the gaps in our fence appeared, so did the presence of anxiety, worry, and negative thoughts in my own life. Covid’s arrival bought isolation, new schools for our kids, and frustration. Even as time passed, the holes that had opened in my own boundaries weren’t repaired. I felt exposed and didn’t know how to deal with them.

Worries and concerns became a constant companion as I parented and lived life. But, thankfully, Jesus was a constant companion, too. My faith remained strong, I knew he was with me, and I laid down all my worries at his feet. Yet in the broken boundaries around my heart, I was vulnerable. Proverbs 4:23 tells us:

Above all else guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.

Eventually, a whole fence panel fell down. It didn’t fall due to a storm. The cause was wear and tear. And like our fence needed replacing, so did the boundaries around my heart, mind, and day-to-day life. The apostle, Paul, tells us:

If anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come. The old has gone, the new is here! 2 Corinthians 5:17

Just because we became a Christian however-many-years-ago doesn’t mean there won’t be times when we need to let the new come again.  Anxiety, worries, and concerns are a very real part of our human experience. They allow us to protect ourselves. But they shouldn’t be the fence that guards our heart. Jesus is that fence. 

So how do we do this? 

1. Find a contractor who knows how to install fencing: In terms of repairing boundaries, that means seeking help whether it be through a doctor, nurse, or a counselor. People who are trained can help you identify old coping mechanisms and develop healthier ones.
2. Installation date: This will mean ripping out the old fence and the old habits and deciding what will be the fence posts guarding your heart. Starting points could include a daily walk, asking God for his help, eating healthily, reviewing your commitments (are they sustainable?), establishing good sleep patterns, and maybe dealing with some outstanding conflict in order to move on.
3. Installation process: When the contractors installed my fence, I noted they regularly took a step back to look at the progress as the panels went up along our boundary. I had to do the same. My intention to work out for thirty minutes four times per week just wasn’t happening and made me more stressed. So, I stopped. I started with a gentle thirty-minute prayer walk and looked at the golden hills surrounding my home. After two months of regular walks I started a cardio workout once per week. I’d made it attainable and removed the pressure of expectation.
4. As more panels go up and more healthy habits are established you can look at where you’ve come from. When you are in a place of anxiety and worry, it’s hard to see how far you’ve come. But as you take the necessary steps to install something new it gives us a fresh perspective and to enjoy that the new is here!

As our fence boundary was completed, I enjoyed knowing that the gaping gaps along the road and our neighbor’s yard were gone. I felt surrounded, protected, secure, and safe. By guarding our hearts, we do the same things. God surrounds, protects, secures, and keep us safe. Even when life gets tough, having those boundaries allows us to make decisions based on firm foundations and secure fencing. This allows God to protect our gentle hearts.

A love letter from God …

Dear lovely one,

I ask that you take some time to look at the boundaries you have in place in your life. Are they protecting your heart? Your mind? Your soul? Or do we, together, need to do some repair work? Your heart is tender and beautiful. It gets hurt easily by some of the things that go on in your life. I know harsh words have penetrated your boundaries and I see the damage that it causes. I see when things have not worked out as you expected and how those moments broke through and caused you pain. Do not let your heart be damaged by what has come through the broken boundaries. Hearts need to be tender so that you can love others like I have loved you. I want you to know that I can heal your heart and I AM with you as you take steps to secure your boundaries. 

I see you, my beloved; I love you.

And I am with you always.

Love, God