I am over this school year. I am also officially over making lunches, washing school uniforms, driving to and from softball games, helping with homework, and basically anything else schedule related.

Oh, and I’m definitely over the alarm clock and reminding my ten-year-old that she does, in fact, need a shower and, no, she can’t lie in bed for ten more minutes. And God give strength to my husband if he doesn’t make me my morning cup of coffee before he leaves the house.

Ok, I know I sound like I’m grumpy. for those of you who still have the energy to finish this year well, Godspeed to you. But as for me, I have finished the marathon. Well, technically, I haven’t. I still need to crawl the last mile to that big red circled date on my calendar.

I wish I could say it’s a one-off and that usually I’m part of the spirit squad cheering on my world changers to finish well. Well, I’m cheering, but in all honesty, I’m not running to the finish line, I’m on my belly and dragging myself through each day.

Earlier today I looked at the contents of my pantry for my ten-year-old’s lunch box and thanked Jesus we had bread. But I didn’t have any of her regular sandwich fillings. I can’t give her bread and jelly because she doesn’t eat jelly, peanut butter doesn’t exist in our house because she’s deathly allergic, and bread and butter won’t work either because she doesn’t eat butter. Just bread, then?

Thankfully, for my girl, I found a bag of chicken nuggets hidden in the depths of the freezer, tossed several in a bowl, and placed them in the microwave. After the ping, I checked the leftover pasta for mold before adding it into a container. I added some blueberries into a plastic bag even though I knew she won’t eat them. But perhaps today would be the day she’d learn they’re good when you’re hungry. Besides, we were out of all other fruit.

I handed the pulled together lunch to her as she left for school and stared at the mess on the countertop for a moment before tackling that, too.

I’ve had kids in school for the past fifteen years. Every year it’s the same. Why do I find the end of the year so hard? I start the year so well. I set the alarm for half an hour before the family wakes. I make myself coffee and enjoy those first thirty precious minutes with God. I commit the day to him. But as the year goes on, the alarm clock gets sets a few minutes later until I’m finally getting out of bed at the same time as the kids. You’d think after fourteen years I’d have learned that this does not work for me. Yet the pattern persists. Habits are powerful.

Every year I invite God into the school year in front of us, and ask him for enough energy to do every part of the year well. So why do I struggle to get this so right? Surely, I shouldn’t be this tired?

But as I walked up the hill toward home this morning, I thought about racing. The bible uses this analogy in a few places in the New Testament.  Paul wrote:

And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. Hebrews 12: 1 NIV

Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize. Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last, but we do it to get a crown that will last forever. Therefore I do not run like someone running aimlessly; I do not fight like a boxer beating the air. 1 Corinthians 9:24-26 NIV

As I mulled these verses over as I slowly made my way upward, and what I realized is that neither of these verses talk about feeling tired at the end of a race. Why? Because it’s a race. And racing is hard. If you’re not tired at the end of the race, have your run your best? I think in these letters, Paul assumes we understand that if you’ve run hard, you’re going to feel tired.

Paul talks about strict training. But strict training also includes rest. All athletes have rest built into their training schedule. So, if that’s the case, it’s ok for me to have that built into my schedule, too. And no athlete goes straight from one race to the start of another. They take a break and restore their bodies before the next event.

So, as I crawl to the finish line of the last day of school. It’s ok that I’m tired and worn out, that our world changers are tired and worn out, and that the teachers are tired and worn out. We’ve all run the race of this school year. And, for the most part, we’ve run it well. My kids have grown in their academic skills, they’ve developed emotionally, and spiritually, they’ve learned that God is always with them. So, as each of us awaits our much-anticipated summer schedule–no alarm clock, afternoons at the pool, bike rides to get Boba tea, grilling hamburgers, summer camps, and picking tomatoes from my garden––we know the time is coming when we can celebrate that we’ve run a race and it’s time to rest before the next one!

A love letter from God …

Dear lovely one,

Whatever race you find yourself in, don’t give up. Keep going. Whether you sprint, run, hike, walk, or crawl … I’m by your side. And, if you find yourself in a place where you can’t finish, rest for a while. Nourish, hydrate, and get some sleep. You see, tomorrow is a new day, and a fresh start.

And when you can’t even see the finish line, focus your eyes on each step in front of you, and persevere. You will finish this race because I am with you.

I see you, my beloved; I love you. And I am with you always.

Love, God

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