Sometimes opportunities for change present themselves as an open door. It stands there wide and open with the possibility of something new, something fresh, and perhaps something adventurous.

One night, about ten years ago after a crazy day of parenting, I collapsed exhausted onto my bed. As I prayed, I heard Jesus whisper, “Your husband is going to be offered a job and it means moving to California.” A few days later I received a text message from my husband who was in California on a business trip.

Him: We really need to talk. I’ve been offered a job here in California.

Me: Yes, take it.

Him: Really? We should at least talk about it.

Me: Yes. But I will still think we should go.

It was the quickest either of us has ever stepped through a door that Jesus held open. He led our family on an adventure of a lifetime and into an unknown future. It came with huge financial risk as we sold everything in the UK and relocated six thousand miles away from our home, friends, family, and the country of our birth. Yet, with the benefit of hindsight, it was one of the best decisions my husband and I have ever made for our family. We’ve explored California, found a church that has become like family, and learned to rely on him––because we had to!

Yet, sometimes, decisions and options can leave us feeling paralyzed by uncertainty. We delay making a choice about which door to walk through. For many of us, even the smallest decisions can leave us drained. Seriously, how hard is it to choose between pasta or pizza for dinner? I can stand in front of an open fridge for ten minutes, and have many options, but sometimes I just can’t seem to settle on what to do for dinner.

Understanding the brain processes behind decision-making can begin to unravel the problem of choosing what to make for dinner. The reason I can’t seem to decide is that the reward is the same no matter which I choose. That is, both options will result in calories to sustain my body. Now, this is a huge oversimplification, but it does begin to explain why sometimes it’s hard to make a choice. So often the options presented to us in life will have an equal balance of risk and reward.

It’s often easier for us to make a decision when the risk or reward leans in one direction or another. It makes the choice more clear-cut.

For many of us who have parented toddlers and teenagers, it’s easy to see that their choice-making brain circuits haven’t fully matured. Anyone else end up in ER because their child decided to run on ice? Or watch kids jump into the water from a bridge not knowing how deep it is? Kids and teens are unable to accurately calculate risk. That’s one of the reasons car insurance prices are so high for teenagers!

But, sometimes we don’t know what to do, even when a clear open door presents itself. We find ourselves second-guessing decisions, debating all possible outcomes. For some decisions, there are pros and cons for whatever choice we make. However, ultimately, only God can know our future. What matters in the end is: Do I walk through the open door?

Questions such as: Do we take the new job with a longer commute but less family time? Do we attend the church because that’s where our kids want to go, but we’d prefer to go to a different one? Do we forgive the person who hurt us even though the risk of them doing the same behavior again is high? Jesus stands there patiently holding the door open and saying, “it’s up to you whether you walk through. But I am with you … whatever you decide.”

And, the amazing thing about all of this is that God does sometimes gives us a choice. If we’d decided not to move our family across the world to California, would God have still been with us? Yes! Did God know the decision we were going to make? Yes!

What about when we decide to take the job with the longer commute, only stay for six months, and then took another job with remote work? Was Jesus us when we walked through all those doors? Yes, he was. He never leaves our side.

Does he give us the choice of whether we should eat pizza for the third time this week? Yes! (Even though I’m sure Jesus knows that eating pizza for dinner every night is not going to be good for my digestive system!)

Jesus loves us so much that he gives us responsibility in the little choices of life. He wants us to develop our decision-making skills. So that when he holds open a door to something that has the potential to change our lives in a big way we will know how to proceed.

But, Jesus recognizes it’s hard for us when there’s a lot going on and he actively encourages us to be careful about our decisions as he wants the best for us. Proverbs 4:26 (CSB) reminds us to:

Carefully consider the path for your feet,

and all your ways will be established.

 

A love letter from God …

Dear lovely one,

When you’re struggling with what to cook tonight, remember I am with you. I see your tiredness, your patience wearing thin as you battle potty training your toddler, and your attempts to help your kindergartener with their spellings … all while holding the door open to the pantry and trying to figure out what to prepare.

I see you think about whether you should breast or bottle feed. I see you as you think about whether to go back to work or to stay at home with your kids. I see you disagree with your friend down the road about how to parent. I see you as you handle every tiny decision that is involved throughout the day. I see you as you negotiate the sales contract for your team. And I see you as you’re exhausted and trying to decide whether to watch that Netflix show or go to sleep so you can handle tomorrow.

You only have to ask and I will guide you at every open door and in every decision you need my help with. Do not let it worry you.

I see you my beloved; I love you.

And I am with you always,

Love, God.

 

For reflection:

• What big life choices are you facing today? How are you feeling about it?
• What’s one thing you can do today and tomorrow to help with this?
• Is there anywhere in your life you would like to see an open door? Bring it to God’s attention. He’d love to talk about it with you.

 

References

Morse, G (2006) Decisions and Desires Harvard Business Review

https://hbr.org/2006/01/decisions-and-desire?registration=success