Something Old
I don’t want things to change … I like them the way they are. Words straight from one of my kiddo’s mouths, or was it mine? This hits close to home because very soon our beloved world-changer number one will graduate high school and move to college.
Our eldest daughter is embracing the something new and that makes me happy for her. But while I often can’t wait for each new thing she discovers, and I love seeing her take each next step of adulthood, this mother’s heart is also holding tight to something old … familiarity, my daughter’s hand, and our family of five tucked away in its nest.
Even as I write she’s home alone, earning money for college, while the rest of us take a couple of days away. She wanted the practice of being by herself. It’s good for her and, I suppose, it’s good for me. But it’s another sign the something old is evolving into something new.
Change is an ever-present companion in our lives, whether we want it or not. It’s not something we can outrun, although, sometimes we can put it on pause. But, eventually, it’ll catch up with us … in our workplaces, at home, in our families, and in our health. Change has the ability to impact every part of our lives, for good or for bad.
So, how do we handle change well? First of all, we need to embrace every one of the feelings around change. God created them, even the negative ones.
When good changes come, we allow ourselves to experience the joy of the event. But, when we see change as ‘hard’ or ‘bad,’ we sometimes don’t give ourselves permission to sit in our sadness and concerns. It’s ok to be sad, to be angry, to be hurt, to be worried. It’s only when we stay in those feelings that problems arise. Sometimes, we have to choose to step out of our emotions. But how do we do this?
Firstly, it’s ok to feel this way, but in thirty minutes, one hour, or sometimes even tomorrow, consciously choose to focus on what we can do to deal with the change. Secondly, you take those thoughts of worry captive. Disengage from their presence by distracting yourself. Sometimes, even that simple act gives us an opportunity to not let distracting thoughts build up into something more. Thirdly, trust that Jesus will help get us through and you’ll do your part, too.
I may have lost my job, but today I can update my resume, and tomorrow I will apply for twenty new ones. And, Jesus is with me.
My daughter will be going to college in the fall, but now, I’m going to enjoy every moment of her here, and close my eyes to her overflowing laundry basket. And, Jesus is with me.
I’m facing a cancer diagnosis, but today, I’m going to speak to the specialist and find out treatment options. And, Jesus is with me.
Embracing change develops our resilience. It helps us cope. And, sometimes out of our something old … a new thing blooms into something more than we could ever imagine.
Deuteronomy 31: 8 (CSB) tells us that:
The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.
A love letter from God …
Dear lovely one,
I know you don’t want things to change and you like them just as they are. But, I promise you, I am with you as you walk through this season. I knew it was coming even before you did. I knew how you were going to react. Be at peace my lovely one, because I will make a way for you.
You do not need to worry because I am right by your side. Have you forgotten that in all things I work for good? Yes! even in this, I have good planned and I can’t wait for you to see and experience it.
My lovely one, it may be hard at times … you may feel tired, overwhelmed, and burnt out. Remember, though, I am your strength and I am on this journey with you. I promise you, you will get through it because I will never leave you and I will take care of you.
I see you my beloved; I love you.
And I am with you always,
Love, God.
For reflection;
- What change are you facing? Have you told God how you really feel about it? Do not be afraid to tell him everything, it allows him to help you.
- What’s one thing you can do today that will help you cope? If you don’t know, talk it through with someone you trust. They may just have an idea that will help you.
- Do you remember a time when a change happened and the result was better than you could have imagined? Remember it now … It might just help you as you face change again.
References:
Smith, K (2020) The psychology of dealing with change https://www.psycom.net/dealing-with-change
Kaprino, K (2015) The 3 most powerful ways to change people who don’t want to change